I <3 Coca-Cola. I don’t think anyone really understands how much I love Coke. It’s both an addiction and a passion of mine that includes collecting bottles, participating in the Coke rewards program, and drinking it pretty much everywhere I go. One of my friends once joked with me that he couldn’t recognize me without a can or bottle of Coke in my hands. Yeah, that’s just how bad it is.
Lately though, I’ve been away from my drink of choice. Let’s just say that my bank account isn’t overflowing with gaming industry bribe money (unlike the commenters tell you) and my house is still full of Sprite from Thanksgiving, when one of our friends brought over 8 2-liters of the stuff. With both of those under my consideration, it seemed like a bad choice to go out and buy Coke. Why waste money when I already have copious amounts of soda I like, right?
So, for the past few weeks I’ve been slowly killing our Sprite supply. Simultaneously, my productivity has dropped significantly. It’s not that I’ve lost my will to work — it’s that I’ve been hit by these disgustingly large writer’s blocks. When I can’t write, it hurts. Like, it really is painful to sit in front of my computer and stare at a blank page. It’s intimidating.
I’ve tried lots of stuff. I’ve tried walking away from the PC, I’ve tried playing a game for a half-an-hour before trying to write again, I’ve tried taking a short nap, I’ve tried free writing (only to find that even my free writing is failing, which is pretty much extremely bad news), and I’ve tried word association where you just start writing words on the paper.
I’ve also gotten tired, I’ve started to hold bad hours of sleep again, I’m hungry more, I have more headaches, and I’ve begun to lose a passion for doing what I love. Yes, that’s right, video games weren’t even fun. Of course, my first instincts are to deny that it’s a depression. I know depression all too well, and it’s certainly a place I’d rather not be again. So, whenever I feel kinda depressed, I just start telling myself that I’m really not depressed, I’m just having a mood swing. I actually have the drive to attempt to combat those depressed feelings.
But, sadly, it wasn’t going away. And what does all of this have to do with Coke? Well, that’s exactly it. Today, while considering my depression, I realize that I’m productive. I’m doing things, I feel active, I feel happy, I’m enjoying writing… and I have a Mt. Dew sitting next to me from a party yesterday. Yes, that’s right, I’ve been going through caffeine withdrawal without really putting two and two together.
Coke isn’t riddled with caffeine, but it certainly does have enough when you’re like me and drink lots of it each day. It’s not that I’m addicted to Coke, it’s just that I drink alot. If you want evidence of that, you should see how I killed off the Sprite stock, or how I can destroy a gallon of orange juice. I like to drink things while sitting down and writing — it’s all part of my work habits.
But finally figuring out that my mood was shit because I wasn’t getting any caffeine is… well… interesting. I really never noticed it before, but it’s become glaringly apparent now. Of course, it’s all going to come down to me sitting here and getting back on my caffeine track and seeing if that improves my general mood and writing abilities back to where they usually are, which is going to take about a week, but my initial guess is that I’m going to be feeling a whole lot better when I crack into a brand new case of my drug of choice.