Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

October 16, 2009


So I jumped into the MAG pre-order beta today.  I can’t say anything about the game thanks to an NDA agreement that’s in place right now, but I can certainly still bitch about the community — an aspect of the game that has really nothing to do with the game.

Raven Corporation.  They’re idiots.  No, really, they are.

Now, normally I don’t believe forumfallout.  People say silly things, like “Raven Corporation really sucks.”  (For those of you who don’t know, when you start up MAG, you have three factions to choose from — VALOR, Raven Corporation, and Seryi Volk Executive Response (S.V.E.R.).  Raven is the technologically correct European faction, VALOR is made up of ex-US Military who are looking for work in the private sector as mercs, and S.V.E.R. is the biggest bunch of rag tag Russians with guns you can get in one place outside of Moscow.)

I heard them decrying the faction I was interested in, but I really didn’t care.  Raven looks crazy awesome technological, they wear all black, and plus you can make so many awesome bird names for your clan.  Steel Talon Company, Razor Wing Division, Blackbeak Company — those names sound awesome.

So I kept reading the forums, like the silly person I am.  I began reading the threads that said things like, “S.V.E.R. stands for Super Vicious, Eats Raven.”  Or how VALOR made sure that Raven remembered they were French.  It was a hardcore hate on Raven fest.  Geesh, why bag on Raven so bad, right?

Well, I’ll tell you why bag on Raven so bad.   Holy. Shit.  Dumb.

Of a squad of 8 people tonight, 3 of us were actively TRYING TO DO THINGS.  The other 5 were picking their noses at the spawn point.  S.V.E.R. didn’t win two matches in a row because they were good — they won because it’s really easy to overwhelm a team when half of their people are AFK.  Crap, I was holding S.V.E.R. off of our position during one match using a sniper rifle at close range, unscoped, while running.  I got five kills doing that.  Five.

This is, of course, not counting the lovely way people would drift in front of our APC when we were driving into the battlefield.  The ones who had headsets would then bitch when we ran them over, and our squad leader would say the same thing every time — “Here’s an idea, DON’T WALK IN FRONT OF THE APC.”  This wasn’t rocket science.  When you hear the loud engine behind you and you hear the horn, you get off the road.  Ta daa.

I would forgive them if they got run over once or twice.  Or if the APC was moving really fast and they couldn’t get out of the way in time.  Nope.  It wasn’t either of those things.  The APC was moving very slowly, sometimes turning, and they would walk right in front of it.  Duh.  Duh duh duh.

So, to be honest, I’m not making this post to scare people away from Raven Corporation.  No.  Not at all.  I’m making this post because I would like SMART TEAMMATES.  So if you think you’re halfway decent at FPSes and you promise not to be a complete tool… PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CAKE JOIN RAVEN.

That’s about it.

(Also… if anyone wants to make a clan… let me know.  I’d like to make a group of intelligent Raven Corporation players. :D)



  1. Sadly, humanity is a capricious and silly beast, Sera, a fact which is only emphasized in games like MAG, and even Aion and WAR. All I can suggest is keep slugging through.

    I suggest awesome music to help get through the idiocy. I recommend Monkey Majik, The Sword, or any of the Touhou soundtracks (depending on your preference).

    • I still have to get my roommate’s PS3 worked out to play music from my PC. And that means I have to actually re-burn most of my music, because I bought it from iTunes and pretty much nothing plays the unsecured iTunes tracks. 😦

  2. It is my slightly skewed opinion that anyone playing any type of shooter on a console is prone to being a moron, more so then you might find on PC.

    I should probably just keep my mouth shut given I haven’t purchased any of this generation’s consoles… but I do hope you find some more competent players, playing with idiots is infuriating.

    • I found a couple of decent games last night, with people who actually wanted to work together.

      I got to see what happens when a squad works together… and it’s amazing. Truly a good time when people get their heads on straight and start working as a team.

  3. I would be glad to join you in Raven, once i get my PS3 for christmas and MAG of course!It really seems like an interesting faction, thoiugh my friends plan on being SVER. We’ll see.

    P.S, it occurred to me that ‘AFK’ technically doesn’t apply to consoles… unless you use a kayboard with your PS3?

  4. I;m sorry, but usually the newer people to tactical and team-based shooters go to Raven, it makes that team really unattractive. As a SVER my team will constantly talk and support while I begin to overpower the competition with a few other veterans of Zipper games. Honestly I suggest either switching to Valor or SVER, both pretty respectable because I have a feeling Raven will have communication problems as a whole for a while even though there are a bunch of competent clans. If you ever want to try out SVER though, check out my clan WSS.

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